Why Skinny Shaming is Hurtful to Fitness Progress

People often think it is okay to make comments about someone being too thin, as if it is a compliment, but as someone who has struggled to gain weight my whole life, it is actually quite hurtful. I get told to eat a burger or that I look like a stick, even though I am working out hard and eating a surplus.

It is just as bad as fat shaming and it can really damage someone self esteem. We all have different starting points and different goals. I am in the gym to build a stronger version of myself, but these comments make me feel like my hard work is invisible.

Let us try to be more mindful of the comments we make about people bodies, regardless of their size. Has anyone else experienced this? I think it is an overlooked part of the body image conversation in the fitness world. We should be supporting each other instead of tearing each other down.

I completely get you, Eric. In London, people seem to think it's perfectly fine to say "eat a burger" to a guy trying to gain mass, but they'd never dream of telling someone to stop eating. It's incredibly demoralising when you're working your socks off in the gym and eating until you're sick just to see the scale move a tiny bit.

Totally agree! People treat being skinny like it's a lucky accident, but for many of us, it's a struggle to keep any weight on at all. It makes me feel like my hard work is invisible because I still look "thin" by average standards.

It’s that double standard that gets me. I’m naturally quite slight, and even after two years of heavy lifting, my aunt in Leeds still tells me I look "fragile." It makes me want to give up sometimes because no matter how much muscle I put on, I’m still just "the skinny girl" to them.

I hear that. Up here in BC, everyone is into the "rugged" look, and being an ectomorph makes you feel like you don't belong in the gym culture. When people comment on how skinny I am, it just triggers that dysmorphia and makes me feel like I’m wasting my time with the weights.

Honestly, I disagree a little bit. I think most people are just jealous. They see someone thin and they wish they had that "problem." They don't realize the effort it takes for us to actually keep muscle on. It's more ignorance than malice most of the time.

Ignorance or not, it still hurts the progress. If I’m feeling self-conscious because someone made a comment about my "chicken legs," I’m less likely to push myself in the squat rack. It creates a mental barrier that shouldn't be there.

Exactly, Maple. It's the unsolicited advice that kills me. "You just need to eat more pie!" as if I haven't been tracking every single calorie for the last six months. It devalues the discipline we actually have.

Does anyone else find that it makes them avoid certain clothes? I won't wear tank tops at the gym in my town because I'm tired of the "where are the muscles?" jokes from the older guys.

All the time. I wear baggy hoodies even in summer. People think I'm just hiding a great body, but really I'm just hiding from the comments about my collarbones.

It’s funny how society thinks body positivity only applies to one end of the spectrum. We all have insecurities. Someone telling me I look like a "beanpole" hits just as hard as any other body-shaming comment.

You just gotta develop thick skin, Dave. People in Texas talk smack all day. I just use it as fuel for my next set. If they think I'm skinny now, wait 'til they see me next year.

That's easier said than done for everyone, TX. Especially for younger blokes just starting out. One bad comment can make a kid quit the gym for good.

It also makes the "bulking" phase so much harder mentally. You finally gain 5lbs and someone says "oh you're still so tiny," and it feels like that 5lbs meant nothing.

Totally agree with Maple. It’s like we aren’t allowed to celebrate progress unless we look like a bodybuilder overnight.

Has anyone found a good way to shut down these comments? I usually just awkward-laugh but I want to actually say something that makes them think.

I usually go with: "I'm working on my health and strength, and comments about my weight don't really help with that." It's polite but firm.

I just tell them to check my numbers on the bar. I might be skinny but I’m out-lifting half the guys in this gym.

Love that attitude, TX. Strength is a much better metric for us than the scale anyway.

It's hard when you're a "hard gainer" though. Sometimes the strength takes forever to move too. It’s a double whammy of feeling small and feeling weak.